Jan 7, 2020
I was speaking to a friend of mine last week and they happened to mention that the reason that they have done incredibly well in high performance coaching was because they had “done the work!“
So I asked them what they meant by having done the work. How they explained it shocked me.
Doing the work, for them, meant going through a journey of personal development and spiritual growth that had cleansed them of all their blind spots and all the other things that would stop them from being a high-performance human being. It also meant discovering their own potential and discovering their own passions and finding ways of connecting their highest values with their work. So far so good, I thought. But the next bit was the most important. They actually then immediately went on a journey of actively pursuing the life that they have discovered and they never went back to doing the things that they had done previously and if they found themselves thinking about the past or thinking in the same way that they used to think then they would draw upon these resources (from the work) to get them back on track.
What I love about this phrase though, is that it demonstrates that you cannot just go on a course and expect things to change. You have to do, as they said, THE WORK!
Now, whether I like it or not or whether it serves me fully, I am a pragmatist. And a practically minded person. So I have always looked upon courses as something which either solve a problem or lead you to where you want to go. And in thinking in this way you have to except that either (Or both maybe) you have problems, or you’re not getting what you currently want from your life but know what it is that you want.
But, we all have blind spots.
So in 2006 when I first attended Tolly Burkan’s fire walk instructor training programme, this course put me through so much of the work that I was fundamentally changed.
Having gone into that programme with a sensible respect for heights (semi-phobic), I returned home and immediately signed up as a retained firefighter here in the UK. This is a fully trained firefighter role but you are based only locally and called upon only when they need you to tackle fires and other emergencies like road traffic accidents. On day one of training I had to climb a four story building via a single ladder. I was able to do this with complete ease.
So my post today he is about doing the work. It’s no good just going on these courses. You have to put into practice what you learn on them and seek out the ones that call out your blind-spots. The ones that force you to connect with the things that you most need to do in order to get the life that you yearn. And even then what you must most understand, is that it’s your life. Your life. And the only way to get value out of your life and to get value out of the courses you attend is to do the work. It might be painful, embarrassing, tiring, frightening, exhausting, expensive or make you feel vulnerable but if you do the work you’re almost certainly guaranteed to get the results.
It’s my intention this year to do some different courses because in 2019 my own blind-spots appeared and so just like you, I need to do the work. Which I am.
But this is one reason why I simply had to bring the fire walk instructor training programme to the UK. Having done all the other high impact Guru lead personal development programs, I found this to be the most impactful one ever. I hope I get to meet you on one of ours, soon.
Oct 15, 2019
I make mistakes.
Sometimes, it’s just that I don’t pay attention to detail. Sometimes it’s that I trust people to be like me and have the same level of authenticity, commitment or even integrity and then my mistake costs me dearly. But sometimes, it’s simply a misunderstanding and while it’s easy to go backwards and forwards into blame, my philosophy has been to say sorry.
Immediately that the truth or facts emerge.
From the moment you apologise, you’re able to move on emotionally. Some people do want you to be REALLY sorry, but that may be because they don’t want to accept their part in the misunderstanding. But if you give a heartfelt apology, you’ve created a Karmic reality that is good for both parties.
I always remember that ‘it doesn’t matter how THIN you slice it, there are always TWO sides.
Apologise, forgive yourself, accept that you’re human and move on.
Oct 15, 2019
Because my brothers and sisters are so much older than me, they had to help my dad to care for me from the age of one year of age. One of my first ‘jobs’ was as a milk boy for my brother. I had to go to customer’s houses and ask them for money. I was maybe 7 years old, shy and withdrawn. After several months, it became easier and I got to know his customers and also realised that some of my fellow school-children lived in these houses. I didn’t want to do it at first. I had no idea that years later I would use the character-building experience to get into and succeed in sales.
Feel the Fear.
How hard can it be? ‘We read out loud in English lessons to the class-how hard can it be reading out loud to the school, it’s the same words?’ This is what I said to my classmates, when the school was asking if anyone would like to read in assembly, the daily gathering of the whole school.
I had Intelligent Ignorance, that is, I didn’t know what stage-fright was, that it was a thing.
As I saw my classmates giggling and wishing me to fail, I read out louder and louder the passage I had chosen but I was shaking so much, the lectern was rattling in front of my and every time I let go, to turn a page, I thought I was going to fall over.
But, I had chosen the subject, I had volunteered and THEY were all so frightened, no one else would do it. The passage I chose: Why the Babel fish proves the non-existence of god, from The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy.
My legs were shaking that day, but because my whole class were too scared to do what Id done, I felt a sense of pride and success and this buoyed me to try more. If you face your fear, the death of fear is certain. Years later I read Susan Jeffers, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway and realised how taking personal risks helps you to become empowered.
Oct 15, 2019
Bullying.
But it’s real and devastating to many who are for ever ensnared in the memories of their experience in receiving it.
I consider myself to be lucky to have been bullied. BUT, only because I was one of the few who broke free. The few who say “NO MORE!!” and stand up to their aggressors and let them know that those bullies will no longer be tolerated as the deliverers of misery and pain.
At the point that I broke free, I was over 6 feet tall and my bully had been abusing me for 3 years. And it didn’t help that my family were seen as a ’tough’ family. No mother, she died when I was just a year old, 6 brothers and sisters and no income from dad, my future looked bleak.
Then one day, the bullying started as usual but on that day, I found resources that were deep within me, and let’s just say, I would never be bullied by that person again. And I wasn’t.
One of my mentors, Tolly Burkan, says many times, “your challenges are your gifts” and if you step up to the challenge, they are. My message to you is that there are resources within you that help you and there are resources that hinder you. But sometimes you need the challenges to really help you realise what’s possible. Only the challenges and your resourcefulness can help your abilities to be revealed to you. They were always there. They just needed a catalyst for you to be able to see them.
All that you need is within you now, for now. Go grab it, work it and be the best you that you can be.
